Crystals for Acceptance and Radical Self-Love

by Nicholas Pearson, author of Crystal Basics, Crystal Healing for the Heart, and several other books on crystal healing

The past year during the COVID-19 pandemic has encouraged me to think of the ways that crystals and gemstones can support humanity for engaging in meaningful growth and personal development. During an era marked by physical separation and mass uncertainty, my spiritual practice has been a source of connection, healing, and hope. In particular I’ve started to connect my work with crystals to the larger scenarios playing out in the world today. This month in particular marks the annual remembrance of the Stonewall Riots and is an important part of my life as a member of the LGBTQ+ community. Although Pride month means a reclamation of dignity, equity, and self-love for members of our community, these are fundamental themes for all of us on earth today. In light of this, I’d like to introduce you to several of my favorite mineral allies for fostering acceptance and radical self-love.

Acceptance is an inside job. It is the first step in the process of personal development because it invites honest, perhaps even critical, self-reflection. Before our own process of healing begins, we must take inventory of where we are so we can learn to love ourselves enough to begin healing and growing. Accordingly, obsidian, a natural volcanic glass renowned for its reflective qualities, is a powerful catalyst for cultivating self-acceptance. You may already be familiar with my love for this volcanic gemstone, as it sparked my writing career and is afforded a place of honor in the first chapter of my first book, The Seven Archetypal Stones: Their Spiritual Powers and Teachings. Obsidian has a special talent for seeing the unseen bits of our psyches and reflecting them back to us. It lovingly, honestly, and without judgment reveals the patterns playing out in the subconscious mind so we can become conscious of them all. Obsidian is sometimes given treatment as a difficult gemstone in crystal literature, but I’ve always found its honesty to be welcome, like that of a dear friend who doesn’t sugar-coat the truth. For a gentler, more uplifting experience, try working with rainbow obsidian instead of its stark, solid-black sibling. Out of this candid self-reflection is born genuine acceptance, as obsidian reveals not only the bad; the psyche is replete with reasons to celebrate, too.

Acceptance walks hand-in-hand with compassion. By learning to accept ourselves just as we are, we can also learn to show up for others through acceptance, compassion, and understanding. Among the best stones for cultivating this kind of compassionate acceptance is lepidolite. This member of the mica family is typically found in shades of pink and purple, and it is best known for its high lithium content. Lithium-bearing minerals elevate our spiritual and emotional sense of well-being and overall balance. Lepidolite imparts flexibility, as individual mica crystals exhibit an unusually high degree of plasticity and flexibility; they can literally bend without breaking (up to a certain extent, at least).

Lepidolite plants seeds of surrender that develop into genuine compassion as they bloom. This soft and gentle gem softens the heart, breaking down unnecessary walls—while maintaining healthy boundaries overall—so that we can share the inner sense of acceptance with those around us. Lepidolite has a way of reminding us that life hardly ever goes to plan, but we can maintain resilience and strength by accepting the inner perfection of ourselves and our lives in spite of seemingly imperfect outer circumstances. Lepidolite fosters greater confidence, self-love, and true joy. It causes these qualities to bubble over and radiate out into the world. The more that I work with this humble stone, the more compassion, tolerance, and peace I have to give away to others. It always helps me stay open-minded and open-hearted to better love and accept my fellow humankind.

Self-love is a buzzword in all over the media, wellness industry, and pretty much everywhere else. Loving yourself inside and out brings the principle of acceptance into action. Love is compassion made tangible, and it is necessary to direct this act inward before it can be of use to anyone else. As a queer person, I’ve struggled with both acceptance and self-love; whole swathes of humanity tell me that I am not worthy of these things—just as they send the same message to women, people of color, people with disabilities, and so many others. Self-love is a means of reclaiming identity, dignity, and sovereignty. It is an act of both healing and magic, as it ignites the inner flame of transformation. I can think of no better gemstone for this than emerald, one of the world’s most prized and precious gems.

Emerald is a green variety of the mineral beryl, whose color is owed to chromium. It has a long history of being venerated as a source of immense curative and occult power. In the ancient world emeralds were used to heal the eyes, soothe the vision, and prevent or cure bites from venomous creatures. These verdant gems were also regarded as symbols of love, fidelity, and serenity. In modern-day lore, emerald is a master healer of body, mind, and spirit. It derives this association in part because it reminds us that the entirety of the material plane is an expression of divine love. Merely having a physical body means that you are a product of divine, unconditional love. Therefore, emerald reminds you that you are inherently worthy of this kind of love, inside and out.

Attaining self-love is more than a trend on social media, however. In a world that worships fame, power, and beauty, self-love is a rebellious act. Emerald, too, is connected to rebellion. Arguably the most famous of all emeralds recorded in the world’s mythos is the luminous stone that adorned the crown of Lucifer, the light-bearer. In most retellings, the rebel angel lost an uprising in Heaven and was cast out; the final blow of the flaming sword that sent him tumbling downward also rent apart his crown. Folklore records the many and varied forms that celestial emerald took, from the Holy Grail to the Emerald Tablet of the alchemical tradition. If we look toward Theosophical interpretations of the Lucifer archetype, emerald symbolizes the descent of light and spirit into matter—a necessary step in preparing this world for human incarnation. Emerald invites us to remember the bold decision to be here on earth is one born of love.

Loving yourself when the media insinuates that you might not be wealthy, pretty, thin, or successful enough is an act of rebellion. Emerald invokes the power of radical self-love to break down the forces that oppress us and hold us back from authentic growth. This kind of self-love does more than just heal oneself, however; it unconsciously gives permission to the people around you to love themselves in the same way, too. This is, at least for me, something integral to the celebration of Pride each year. Coming together and creating safe spaces to be authentically ourselves is the way that the LGBTQ+ community gives all people permission to love themselves and one another. It’s the way we send the message that it’s okay to be you—flaws and all—and still feel deserving of love.

Crystals and gemstones are powerful catalysts for healing, but one must remember that the real healing takes place first and foremost at the subtle realms. Cultivating acceptance and self-love are critical steps in both personal and planetary healing, and obsidian, lepidolite, and emerald are only three of countless rocks and minerals that can support us in these steps. My hope for you this June, and every month, is to receive the love and acceptance you deserve so we can create a more compassionate world. To learn more about these three gemstones, and many more, please check out my books, including The Seven Archetypal Stones, Crystal Healing for the Heart, Stones of the Goddess, and Crystal Basics.